How to Be a Rainy Day Bride

1. Get married in the rain!

Just kidding.  Most people probably don't grow up dreaming of rain on their wedding day.  Yes, it is said to be a sign of good fortune/fertility or whatever- but as my dad says, "that saying was made up by someone whose daughter was getting married on a rainy day to keep her from flipping out."  If you are planning an outdoor wedding, you HAVE to be prepared for rain.  I know everyone says this, and you hear it and are like "yes yes, I KNOW."  But inside (and I know this, because this was me), you are thinking "it won't rain on my wedding because it's my wedding and it can't."  Let me tell you- it can.  And it does.  But it's not the end of the world!!!  Take it from me- my husband and I got married during a 15 minute outdoor ceremony while it rained and rained on us.  Was it still a perfect day?  Absolutely.  Would I change anything about it?  Not at all.  Here's a list of some things that helped me through my own rainy day wedding.

1.  Have a plan.
My venue was a state park, so our ceremony and reception were both at the same location, and both outdoors.  When you are booking your reception venue/tent, remember that this is (most likely) your backup location for rain!  Our (unused) rain plan (I'll get to more of this later) was to do the ceremony under the tent with our guests seated at their tables.  Because one of my favorite aspects of the park was the flower-covered arch at the ceremony site, we (I say we, but it was my bridesmaid and her mom) put together a lighted arch from Michael's and decorated it with ribbons, and purchased giant flower pots overflowing with flowers to put it in.  Being as prepared as possible for rain will make the transition much easier if you do have to go with your backup.

2. Practice your plan!
At our rehearsal, we ran through our regular plan several times, and then we also ran through our rainy day plan.  This included coming out of a different door on the house to make the walks shorter.  This included changing up which way the boys came down the aisle so they could hold an umbrella over their escort.

3. Get some umbrellas.
My dad ordered a bunch of giant golf umbrellas online prior to the wedding.  He ordered solid white ones, and some pink and white ones.  You'll see one of the white ones featured in my wedding photos.  You can find some really great deals online.  Or, you can ask around from friends and family to see if they have any extra.  If your budget allows, try to do this in advance, even before you have the weather report- you don't want to be scrambling the week of your wedding to find giant umbrellas that you don't mind having in your photos because the weather report is predicting rain.  We had enough umbrellas for our bridal party and some additional for grandparents/guests.

4. TRY NOT TO PANIC.
Take a deep breath.  You'll make it through this, I promise.  Remember: it's a wedding.  Maybe it's not the wedding of your Pinterest dreams, but it's YOUR wedding, it's finally here, and at the end of the kerfuffle- you'll be married to the person of your dreams.  Just remember that.

5. Be spontaneous and laugh a lot.
Here's the part where I tell you my story.  Sometimes, you do all these steps.  You bought the umbrellas.  You made the plan.  You made the backup arch.  You practiced the night before.  And the day of the wedding, it's overcast but holding off.  The wedding ceremony is at 2.  Everyone is seated in their chairs in front of the rose garden.  The music begins to play.  The guests of honor begin to walk down the aisle.  And then... AND THEN... the rain starts.  Your guests pull out their umbrellas- and your dad grabs one for you (the bride), but some of the guests don't have umbrellas.  Your bridesmaids and your groomsmen don't.  You lament that there are TEN GIANT umbrellas in a box inside the manor house, but you're already being escorted down the aisle by your dad and OH WELL, looks like you're doing this thing in the rain!

That's what happened to us on our wedding day.  We stood there while it showered on us, and we stared into each other's eyes and smiled, and laughed, and rolled our eyes, and cracked up at every water reference made in the ceremony- which was quite a few because of the location.  Was I upset that it was raining?  No. I was worried about my guests, but it was a short ceremony and if they were really bothered, they stood under the giant tree.  I even improvised something about the rain into my vows as I was reading them.  The officiant cracked a joke about the rain as droplets fell from his hair onto his kindle.  And then it was over, we were married, and everyone went under the tent.  And the rain eventually stopped.

If you make this big, you can see the raindrops!

But now we have a story.  Something uniquely us.  And very fitting.  Of course we got married out in the rain- why wouldn't we?  That's so very Alissa and Scott.

One final word of advice- take precautions with your shoes in case of mud.  Scotch guard them.  Buy the little shoe caps to keep from sinking.  Trust me.  

Wedding photographs by Melissa Barrick.

  

Hints and Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

I knew before Scott popped the questions that we would write our own vows.  It's just a part of who we are.  We have a lot of character, to put it nicely.  And that character was not going to be summarized and expressed nice and succinctly using vows torn from the pages of some old manuscript, that thousands of others had recited before.  Right after we booked our officiant, who would be writing (from scratch!  Character!) the ceremony, we started thinking about vows.  Well, I started thinking about vows.  Scott just sort of waited until I had all my stuff together, and then he started thinking about them too.  Here is a smattering of info that helped me, that I hope will also help you.

START EARLY.
For your sanity, start early.  Think about your vows, even if thinking about them causes your stomach to sort of wriggle in a knot and you start to sweat.  That's good!  Maybe that means these things won't happen on your wedding day!  Seriously though, you don't want to be scrambling to write them the night before... or the morning of.  You'll have other things to worry about.  In our case, the officiant requested that we send him our vows at least one week prior to the wedding date.  He would review them and get back to us if any changes were necessary (see the next point for more on this).  It's good to give yourself a deadline like this.  I would suggest a week prior to the event.  That gives you plenty of time to practice, practice practice, and edit and re-edit if necessary.

Come up with a format/Decide on a mood.
One of the first things you need to think about is whether or not you and your partner will be seeing each other's vows prior to when you're reading them.  You might choose to write your vows together (my brother and his wife did this), or share with one another what you have written.  Either way is perfectly wonderful!  Scott and I wrote our vows separately, and they were secret until we read them- we do love surprises.  However, that's not to say that we didn't talk quite a bit, and at length, about how we were writing them. If you decide to write your vows separately, there are a few things to consider.  Do you want the formats to match?  How about the length of the vows?  You might not want to be up there speaking for 5 minutes if your partner is going to speak for less than 1.  Scott and I decided on a basic format that we would both follow.  This sort of made our vows "match" and also gave us (Scott) a little bit of structure to follow.  Our format was this: Two short intro type paragraphs, followed by vows.  The vows began with "I promise."  We wrote some silly (but sweet) vows at the beginning before diving into the serious, heartfelt sentimental ones.  Our vows both ended with a short piece adapted from some celtic vows that resonated deeply with both of us. 

Brainstorm until your brain falls out
Think about all the reasons you love this person, and all the things that make them special to you.  What promises do you want to make?  What can you work on to keep your relationship healthy and growing?  Write, write write.  Write about the things you like to do together, your favorite memories.  Jot down inside jokes, favorite experiences, future plans.  Look back in old diaries, or Facebook.  Have fun remembering the things that you've forgotten (it definitely happened to me).  Use these thoughts, memories, tidbits to write your vows.  Or....

Look for inspiration (online)
There's a reason why I put this AFTER brainstorming.  The Internet is a wonderful resource.  There are a million places to find vows.  Samples of vows, how-to-write vows, traditional vows, vows from other cultures... It's a wonderful resource!  However.  It is extremely, EXTREMELY easy to get lost in all of this "inspiration" and find yourself copying down lines from other people's vows word for word.  Which isn't necessarily a bad thing- but remember, your vows are about you and your partner.  Not about MrsSmith2012 and her husband (Mr. Smith).  And while Mrs. Smith might have written some excellent vows and you want to jot those down, just be careful that you don't lose your personal touch.  After all, that's probably the reason why you chose to write your own vows in the first place- because you want them to be personal.  I fell into this pit several times.  I wrote down so many bits and pieces of vows I found online- and I took them apart and rewrote them and rearranged them until they felt like they were mine, because I was terrified that I would get up there and be reading someone else's vows. 

Practice!
This might sound silly.  But practice reading your vows after you've finished them.  Hopefully you finished them and still have a week (or more!  You go, you overachieve, you!) before your event.  Print them out and stand and read them.  How does it feel?  Do you feel like you're trying to speak too quickly to get through them?  Slow yourself down.  Need to make some changes?  Do it, you gave yourself plenty of time.  Are you comfortable with them?  Great.  Now read them to someone else.  I read them to Abby first before I let any human ears hear them.  Then I read them to my bridesmaids.  You might feel that you can skip this practice part, but please don't.  Maybe you have a funky typo that you missed- you don't want to be reading that on the wedding day!  The more you practice, the more familiar your vows will be, and the easier it will be to read them on the day.

When it comes time to say them, don't mumble!
At the very least, your partner needs to be able to hear you!  And yes, we all know that the wedding is about the couple, and particularly the vows are between the two of you, but your guests DID get all dressed up and travel near and far to witness the two of you commit yourselves to one another.  We used a portable mic at our ceremony.  The officiant was also wearing a mic for the ceremony, and we asked him to hold out a mic for us while we read our vows.  Some couples might not feel comfortable doing this, but by golly we were proud of our vows and our love and we wanted everyone to know it.  If you don't have access to this kind of set up, that's perfectly fine.  Just speak up, and don't mumble.  Don't yell in your partner's face either, but don't mumble!  (This is another reason why practicing is important!)

Also: Don't be afraid to improvise!
Here's a tip from your Rainy Day Bride.  It's okay to improvise during your vows!  (It's also okay to laugh through the ceremony).  If something has come up, if disaster has struck- it's okay to mention it in a lighthearted, fun way.  We stood in a rain shower getting soaked for 20 minutes during our ceremony.  In my vows, I wrote something about going on adventures big and small, with two examples.  Instead of reading the examples I had prepared a week prior (something about road trips, I believe), I stated (in sort of a petulant child voice) "like getting married IN THE RAIN."  Everyone giggled, as it was the first actual acknowledgement of the fact that yea, Alissa and Scott are up there getting rained on and we are all going to pretend like that's something that's not happening.  So it's cool!  You don't have to read exactly from the script.  If you're suddenly struck with inspiration looking at your spouse-to-be-in-literal-minutes, preach it! 

Preserve them.
I've seen lots of sweet ways to preserve your vows.  Pinterest has tons of ideas.  You can frame the actual vows that you used.  You can create some wall art.  Or you can have them embroidered!  There are bunches of ideas out there, and why not immortalize those words that you both poured your hearts into?

Wedding photographs by Melissa Barrick.

DIYish Wedding Garter Set

Up until the meeting the the DJ three weeks before the wedding, I had completely- COMPLETELY- forgotten about getting a garter.  Back in the beginning stages of wedding stuff, it had crossed my mind that maybe I could order something cute and custom from etsy.  But out of my brain went that thought, and by the time the DJ uttered the words "bouquet and garter toss" and my eyes got as big as saucers- there wasn't enough time.  After a slight case of the "oh crap"s, I decided to go the cheap/easy/DIYish route.

These garters came as a two pack from Michael's.  I didn't take a before photo, but I've got a stock photo for reference, and since you can't see the details I will describe it for you- they were plain white silk with tulle-ish bows and a small white silk flower with rhinestone center.

As you can see, kind of boring for my taste.  I knew I wanted two garters, and I knew I wanted some purple involved.  I cut off the bow and white flower, and attached some things that I already had laying around.  On the larger garter, the one that I kept, I glued some leftover silk/lace flowers from the DIY card box I made.  I also added some darker purple store bought flowers (also from Michael's) to tie in with the toss garter.  I reattached the tulle bows (after re-tying them, those bows were not the cutest I've ever seen straight out of the package) and voila!  They had a DIY touch, they matched other elements of the wedding and each other, and they took less than 15 minutes to complete.

I thought about adding some dangley charms or something, but I kind of had this "nobody is EVER going to notice this anyway" attitude about it, so I didn't bother.  It's fine though- I love it, and I have plans to display it so that it won't go unnoticed and unappreciated forever.

Materials List:
Pack of garters from Michael's (with 50% off coupon)- somewhere around 8 dollars
Homemade flowers: free with supplies on hand
Rhinestone purple flowers: ~$1.50 at Michael's with coupon
Hot Glue Gun
Seam ripper/scissors

Total Cost: Less than $10 and less than 15 minutes of your life
Which is pretty fitting for something nobody sees and is only the center of attention for 5 minutes

Wedding photographs by Melissa Barrick.

My MOH Speech

My brother got married a few weeks ago.  I am very fortunate in that the woman he married is one of my very best friends.  I also had the honor of standing next to them as the Matron of Honor!  But of course that means I had to give a speech.  It took me a few days to write something I liked, and I was editing it the morning of the wedding, and even after the ceremony and right before the reception.  Turns out, the first part of my speech was included in the ceremony- whoops!  So I had to improvise a little bit and skip part.  But I'm including my speech here- for memory, and maybe for someone else's inspiration.

***

Hello everyone. For those who don’t know me, I am Alissa, and Jeff is my little brother. I’ve known him for his whole life. Josie, I’ve known since college at Towson. It’s funny. People who live in The County always talk about how small it is and everyone knows everyone. So it’s funny ironic Jeff and Josie grew up two miles from each other, went to the same high school for three years, and never met until they went 100 miles away to Towson. Think of how many times their paths must have crossed, and they never knew!**

The first time I met Josie was in our friend Lacey's dorm room at Towson. Josie was wearing her workout gear and I think had either just come from or was heading to the gym. The first thought I had about her was, “wow, who is this dedicated- and crazy- college freshman who still has time and motivation to hit the gym?” After that, we became friends, and Jeff and Josie met, and then Josie was a regular in our lives.

Josie has been a great friend to me since that day I met her in her workout gear. She is supportive and sweet, but she also always tells you exactly how it is. She has there and supported me through the most important events in my life so far- when I first met my husband, she was there giving him high fives. When we got engaged, she knew about it and helped plan it. And, side note, Josie is so surprising and she always keeps you guessing- could you tell by looking at her that this girl just looooooves the transformers movies? So much so that I now associate transformers with my own relationship because she convinced the group to go see transformers 2 on the day Scott proposed to me. I don’t think I will ever forgive her for that.

Jeff is my little brother, and we have always been very close- he really is one of my best friends. And while I’m still not quite sure how he managed to reel Josie in, I’m glad he did because you two couldn’t be more perfect each other. The fact that two of the most important and valuable people in my life are together in love fills me with happiness. You’re perfect for each other, and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased in both directions. Having Josie in his life has, how should I say this, “calmed him down.” He dresses nicer. He’s more clean-shaven.  He's no longer nocturnal.  And honestly, I think she has made him a better brother. And he’s been great for her, too. He’s a very loyal and supportive person, and always steps directly onto the plate when duty calls. I know that Josie will never want for anything, as long as Jeff is around.

My mom and I were talking the other day and she offhandedly mentioned, “you know, you always said you wanted a sister.” And I always have. Sorry, Jeff. But putting you in drag doesn’t really count. Josie, you’re everything I could ever want for my brother, and everything I could ever want in a sister.

Jeff, I am so proud of you. I never imagined that my crazy baby brother could clean up so nicely. I love both of you so much. Separately, you are two special and remarkable people, but together you are complete. I wish you all the happiness in the world in your future together, and lots of little nieces and nephews for me to spoil.

I’d like to end my toast with a quote from one of the most highly regarded and groundbreaking television series of our time- Buffy the Vampire Slayer. “When I say, 'I love you,' it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one.” Thanks everyone, and congratulations J squared.   

**This part was glazed over and improvised, as it was stated during the wedding ceremony

Our Wedding Day: Personailty in the Details

Everything I do is personal.  I try to fill my home with items of meaning.  I spend time on DIY and craft projects when I could easily just buy a similar item in the store- not only because I'm cheap frugal on a budget, but because I live for that personal touch.  Weddings, by definition, are personal.  Planning mine was one of my favorite things- it was all about Scott and I as individuals and as a couple.  Everything was chosen with a purpose.  I'd like to share some of the details, and the stories behind them.

My jewelry.  This was my something Old, New, Borrowed and Blue.  The pearl necklace strand was given to me by Scott on our first Valentine's day in 2009.  It was my something old.  New and Blue were both covered by the earrings- a gift from Scott a few days before our wedding and worn for the first time on the day.  The bracelet was Borrowed from my mom and is a funny story in itself- I had asked my mom if she had either a pearl or diamond bracelet that I could borrow.  She responded with, "no, but your dad can buy me one for you to borrow."  I thought she was kidding.  Until she showed up a few days later and asked if I was ready to go shopping. 

My hair piece.  I wanted to replace my veil with something sparkly and beautiful.  My parents and I sat one night and looked at dozens before we found this one- perfect.  Rhinestones to match my (many) earrings, pears to match my jewelry.  I knew I wanted flowers, and they look like cherry blossoms to me- something that I love so much I have it tattooed on my body.  Perfect.

This photo means a lot to me.  My mom, fastening my necklace.  On her hand, you can see the ring my dad gave her on their anniversary.  On her wrist is a bracelet worn by her mom, my grandmother, as a young woman.  It was given to my grandmother by her father on her 16th birthday.  Notice that it also has pearls- we liked that it drew a parallel between my mom, my grandmother, and me.

Scott's cufflinks.  A gift from my to him on the morning of our wedding.  We are gamers!  I wanted something to represent that without being terribly overt and/or tacky.  I found these cufflinks and bought them right away. 

The charms on my flowers.  Every year I try to go to the Maryland Rennaissance Festival.  When I am able to attend, I always seek out the coin folks.  I've done this for years and have quite the collection.  I can look at the designs I chose that year, and know exactly where I was in my life.  The one with the dolphin on one side and wolf on the other- definitely right around 5th grade.  The summer prior to the wedding, I went with Scott to the ren fest and bought this coin, knowing I would want it attached to my bouquet.  On one side, an X, our new shared initial.  On the other, a Knight in Shining Armor- tongue in cheek and self explanatory, I think.  I also had the florist attach a flamingo charm.  I love flamingos and have amassed quite the collection of flamingo related items.  This charm was a gift from my grandparents.     

The boys wore chucks for the whole event.  I switched into mine after the first dance and wore them for the rest of the reception.  While our groomsmen wore regular grey chucks with purple laces, Scott and I had our wedding date embroidered down the back. 

So there you have it.  A glance into a few of my favorite details from our wedding day.  Subtle things, I think, that our guests might not have noticed.  But that's okay.  I look through the photos and I see these things and they bring a smile to my face. 



Please note that all photos were taken by our wonderful photographer, Melissa, over at MB Photography.

Preserving Your Wedding Flowers: Christmas Ornament

Here’s one of my post-wedding projects.  After the wedding, we came home with lots of flowers- my bouquet, four table centerpieces and the aisle decor.  I dried some of them, pressed some of them, and let the others sit in the pots to rot.  Whoops.

Well I was finally throwing all these dried up dead flowers away (three weeks after the wedding-don’t judge me, I thought I might need them for something and it turns out I WAS RIGHT) when I remembered something I pinned on Pinterest about a billion years ago.  Lucky me, I’m a craft hoarder, so I had clear glass Christmas bulbs just chilling in my closet.  Out came the bulb, off went the flowers’ heads, and just like that I have an awesome new ornament for the tree.

This thing is really a lot prettier in person.  The colors are awesome.  There’s an entire sunflower’s worth of petals in there (yellow), petals from the irises (blue), whole entire dried up daisies (purple), whole flowers from the snapdragons (pink/orange), and whole adorable little button mums (green).

I’m debating whether or not I want to write something on the glass- maybe the date or the year or something.  But I might just leave it as is and tie a little purple bow around the top.  Either way, I’m very pleased with it- another free project made with materials I already had laying around my house, and hopefully a keepsake that will stick around for many Christmases to come.

If you do this at home: consider spraying the flowers with a spray sealer.  I did this with the other flowers that I dried/pressed and saved, but I didn't do it with these.  I'm not sure that there will be any difference- maybe they will fall apart easier, maybe they will rot or something, or their colors will fade faster.  I'm not sure!  It's just something you want to consider.  I didn't think about it at all until after they were already in the bulb and there's no way to get them out in one piece.  The spray I used for my other flowers (keep an eye out for those in future projects) is a Krylon UV protective acrylic spray made for things like... dried flowers.  Just something to think about!